Title: Project Sassy
Pairing: Sam/Castiel (eventually)
Characters: Sam, Castiel, Dean, James (OC)
Summary: A crazy matchmaking plot spells chaos for Sam and Castiel when James and Dean try to get them together.
Rating: PG13 for now
A/N: My first time writing the Sam/Castiel pairing. Hope it's okay. One of these days I will write the fic in which James joins the team. AU from 'Swan Song' so Sam came back in one piece and a certain character wasn't killed off.
Warning: Possible OOC.

Chapter One

Sam

"James, I need to talk to you," Sam said, making James look up from where he was lying on the bed, reading a book, which was titled 'The Cat Who Lived High' in surprise.

Sometimes it was easy to forget that James had joined their ragtag bunch of misfits only two years ago as he seemed to slot into place pretty well. James was a tall, deceptively slim looking, red haired man, standing about the same height as Dean, with warm brown eyes. Sure, the red head was snarky and grumpy in the morning before coffee, but he also was laid back and easy going and nothing seemed to shock him. James had told them that he was originally from Scotland but he now lived in Cardiff and he worked as a chef for one of the military bases there. "It definitely isn't boring," he had commented afterwards.

James put the book to one side and looked up expectantly at Sam. "Well, first things first, sit down" he ordered in his deep Scottish accent, as he swung his legs around so he was in a sitting position. "You're giving me a crick in the neck."

Sam flushed and sat down on the bed opposite the red head. "Sorry."

"So what can I do you for?" James asked. He noticed Sam was looking down at his hands. "All right, spill. What's bothering you? You wanted to talk to me and now I'm all ears. So what is it?"

"IthinkImighthavefeelingsforCas," Sam mumbled without looking up from his hands.

James rolled his eyes. "What was that?" he asked, not sure if he had heard right. "Again, and this time with actual spaces between the words."

"I think I might have feelings for Cas," Sam admitted, not seeing the triumphant grin that had crossed James' face at his admission.

James schooled his face into an intrigued expression when Sam looked up. Inside he was doing the mental macarena as he had been waiting for this moment. He had noticed the sexual tension between Sam and Castiel and he and Dean had been waiting for at least one of them to admit it. "I see," he said. "And how long has this been going on?"

"I don't even know if he likes me. I mean, he talks to Dean more than me and he likes you."

"Of course he likes you," James commented. "I mean, he could smite me if I looked at him wrongly. Not the kinda bloke you want to get on the wrong side of. You're still here, aren't you?"

"That was blunt."

"Say it as I see it. And you didn't answer my question. How long?"

"That's why you and Dean are perfect for each other... A while."

James raised an eyebrow. "Are you now pairing Dean and myself off? Who are we talking about here again?"

Sam flushed, but looked up at James. "He's definitely your type. Can't leave you and Dean feeling left out."

James shrugged. "You know what I always say, sharing is caring."

"I swear you were a Roman Emperor in a previous life. I can just see you in a toga and orgies everywhere."

James chose to not answer Sam's comment. "Sam, we're speaking about you and Cas. So what do you want me to do about it?"

"How to get him to notice me."

"I swear he's noticed you. Alaska ringing any bells?"

"That was different. It was a survival thing."

James fought the urge to facepalm and settled for a mental one instead. "Have you tried talking to him?"

"I can't. I- I just sound so... stupid."

"Sam, look at me," James said, moving to sit next to Sam. "You aren't stupid. All you need to do is talk to him. It's easy."

"Easy for you to say. You have the looks and that sexy accent and you have people falling at your feet."

"It's not easy being me." James sighed. "Anyway, back to you and Cas. Just say to him, preferably when Dean and myself aren't there, 'Hey, I got a thing, you're maybe feeling a thing, and there could be a thing'. Although, maybe not in those exact words."

Sam frowned as he recognised where James had gotten the quote from. "Thank you, Buffy. Do you think it'll work?"

"Buffy's hot. I'm sure it will."

"You think everyone's hot."

"Why limit myself?" James sighed again. "Look, I'm ninety nine percent sure that all the poor angel is waiting for is for you to make the first move. So do so."

"Are you this bossy back in Cardiff?"

"Yes. If I'm wrong about it, we could both get zapped by Cas."


Castiel


"Dean, I must speak with you," Castiel announced as soon as he had appeared in front of Dean, making him jump and choke on his drink.

"Damn it, Cas! Don't do that!" Dean said, once he got his heart beat back to normal and the coughing had subsided. "So what's up?"

"I wish to know how to proceed in courting your brother."

"Sam?"

"Yes."

"And you want to do the horizontal tango with Sam?"

"I don't understand..."

"Have sex with him."

"Yes. So will you help?"

"You want me to set you up with my brother?!"

"Please."

Dean had to pause at that. Castiel almost never said 'please' and for him to do so must mean he's serious. "Fine." He secretly wondered when he had become his angel and brother's relationship advisor and decided to blame James for it since he was the one who had first noticed it and had decided to drag Dean into his little matchmaking scheme.

**Flashback**

"Dean," James said once Castiel and Sam had left the room to get coffees, "why aren't Sam and Cas shagging already?"

"Dude, what?" Dean asked, looking confused, whether it was because of the British slang that the tall red head had used or whether he was wondering why James had suddenly decided to pair off his brother and friend, James wasn't sure. "Shagging?"

James rolled his eyes. "Do I have to get out the British slang dictionary again? You already found out what it meant."

"Yeah, but then you wandered out from the bathroom wearing that very small towel and I got distracted."

James flicked Dean's ear, eliciting a yelp of surprise from him. "Dean, focus!"

"Why are you even interested?" Dean questioned, holding his ear and scowling at James.

"Because the UST is driving me insane. Well, insaner than usual."

"How can it be UST if it's been resolved?"

"Alaska doesn't count," James stated, flushing slightly. "Besides 'needs to be re-resolved unresolved sexual tension' makes for a bit of a mouthful or for one of a hell of a acronym."

"You'd know all about mouthfuls wouldn't you, James?"

"Bite me."

"You'd enjoy it."

James shrugged, not bothering to confirm or deny that claim. "Anyway, back to Sam and Cas, their not so secret longing for each other is just... distracting. We need to get them together."

"I thought you had a thing for Cas," Dean pointed out.

"I do, and Sam and you too... But I know how to share," James said with a wink.

"You're very kinky."

"You only just realised that? I'm very flexible."

"I noticed. So how would we do this matchmaking thing?"

James flopped down on one of the beds, propped himself up on his elbows and looked at Dean. "Well, we have to get them in the position of admitting their feelings. And, no, I'm not getting Cas to beam us to Alaska and then injuring the poor bloke so he can't beam back until he's at least snogged Sam. It's too cold for one."

"Snog?"

"Kiss," James explained with a roll of his eyes.

"I think you like to use the Brit slang deliberately just to confuse us," Dean accused, pointing at James. "You're from Scotland. You should be used to the cold."

"I haven't lived in Scotland for years. Stop changing the subject. Or I'll get Gabriel to help me."

"No! He'll do something with a pair of handcuffs and chocolate body paint. Remember what happened on your last birthday?"

"The pony was your idea. The strippers were Gabe's."

"What about the tentacles?"

"I'm beginning to think you have a hard on for the tentacles. Quit trying to distract me."

"You really are bitchy if you don't get enough coffee, aren't you?"

"I'm only bitchy if a certain person, who is right in front of me, keeps giving me holy water wakeup calls."

"You get loud and pornographic. I have to wake you before our neighbors get the wrong idea. We aren't in Alaska anymore."

"Do not. I'm sharing with you tonight. At least then I can push you onto the wet patch."

"You can try."

James gave him a look. "Are you going to help me or not?"

"What's in it for me?"

James shot Dean a long look. "I'll take you to a strip club," he promised. "I'll even buy the drinks."

"Okay. You going to dance again?"

"Why?"

"You're good at it. Get lots of tips. What do they teach you over there?"

"In Cardiff?"

"Yeah."

"Lots of things," James answered with a smirk.

"That what they teach you in chef school?"

"Nah, that came later."

"I bet. Why did you snicker when Sam told you he was going to be Agent Tyler when we did that case with the mermaid?" Dean asked, changing the subject again. "And then ask if he got hit by a car and sent back to nineteen seventy three?"

"It's a Brit thing," James answered mysteriously. "I hear the Internet has the answers to almost everything." He frowned. "Is that why you only get two beds in the rooms that we stay in? Are you hoping for a little pairing up of your own?" he asked with a mischievous quirk of his eyebrow.

"Don't even go there," Dean warned. "So where do we begin?"

"Step one in Project Sassy..."

"Sassy?"

"It's the codename for getting Sam and Cas together."

"Right."

"As I was saying, step one is getting them to admit it."

"And how are we going to do that?"

"Leave it to me."



**End Flashback**

Damn James for putting the idea in his head and now, Dean couldn't stop noticing the shy glances between Sam and Castiel when they thought the other man wasn't looking at them. He looked at the angel beside him and sighed. "Sure, I'll help you."

Castiel nodded. "I think we should get back. Sam and James are probably wondering where we are."

Dean sighed. "Fine. Beam me away, Cas."

Both men arrived in the motel room just as James was saying, "... get zapped by Cas."

"Oh, you're back," Sam said with a grin.

"Who would get zapped by Cas?" Dean asked, looking between the two men. He almost missed the grin sent his way by James. 'That can't be good... Can it?'

"Daleks," James answered at the same time Sam said, "Clowns."

Castiel tilted his head and gave James a look. "I see."

James quirked a challenging eyebrow at Castiel in reply and mentally recited Nine Inch Nails lyrics in his mind until the angel turned away, his cheeks slightly flushed.

"Your taste in music is... intriguing," Castiel said finally.

"That'll teach you to try and read my mind," James growled. Mind reading was a sensitive subject with the red head and he'd refuse to say why exactly. Dean, Sam and Castiel didn't push it as they had their own wounds to lick. He suddenly switched subjects. "Sam was talking about having a toga party," he blurted.

"That's not what I said!" Sam spluttered, blushing slightly.

"Well, you said a lot of things but I got the gist of you wanting a toga party," James stated, secretly enjoying Sam's embarrassment. "There also was something about orgies in there as well."

"Sammy?!" Dean said finally. He wondered what the red head and Sam had been talking about.

"I compared James to a Roman emperor," Sam explained.

"You know that explains a lot..," Dean said thoughtfully as he sat down next to James. "I like the way he thinks."

"Sam or James?" Castiel questioned.

"Maybe we could have a orgy of our own," Dean continued.

"Four people does not an orgy make," James said, sounding too sure of himself.

"Speaking from experience, Yoda?"

James shoved Dean. "I'm not small, green and wrinkly. Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Yeah. Something else you learned in chef school?"

"Why is it every time I do something, you always ask if I learnt it in chef school?" James asked. "I mean, it's almost like you think I don't have a life otherwise."

"I need a drink.... or twelve."

"You and me both," James commented. "Cas and I will get the booze. And some Jaffa Cakes." James gave Castiel a look that promised that the angel would get interrogated once they were out of earshot of Sam and Dean.

Dean knew that look and decided to do a bit of grilling of his own towards Sam. "Fine, whatever. Hurry back."

"Come on, Cas. Those Jaffa Cakes are calling me."

Onto Chapter Two